Personal Stories
11 Factual Experiences
From a Retired Army Major in Fort Smith, Arkansas
I was awarded custody of my 4 minor kids and my ex-spouse was ordered to pay me $765 monthly child support. She never did pay it but she left my Army retirement alone. Two years later she remarried and went after my army retirement. By now I was 100 percent disabled service connected and the VA had me waiver my Army retirement pay. The judge awarded her half of the retirement and a back judgment for over $16,000 plus she did not have to pay child support until the judgment was paid. This resulted in her getting out of child support payments and getting a share of my VA disability compensation. My mental health worsened and I lost custody of the kids, my job and the will to live. Eventfully all four of my kids left their mother and came back to me. VA medication & counseling helped me and I remarried and I raised my four children without financial help or emotional help from my ex-wife, who avoided paying child support due to the USFSPA.
U.S. Congress, 3rd District Arkansas
From a Master Chief Petty Officer in the U.S. Navy
My Ex-spouse filed for divorce and left me with two minor children three days prior to transferring overseas. Three weeks after our final divorce, she remarried and has remarried twice since. When we divorced, I was a First-Class Petty Officer (E-6), however she will benefit fourteen years later by receiving 43% of my retainer pay as a Master Chief Petty Officer (E-9). No matter how you look at that scenario, it is wrong. I will have dedicated 30 years of honorable service to my country and all I ask is to be respected in the same manner.
U.S. Congress, 1st District, FL
From a retired US Navy Officer
I served 22 years in the Navy as a pilot. I was deployed on several six-month cruses and many other, shorter cruses. My now ex-wife never worked - not outside the home or inside the home. We have one child who is now 18. I remarried three years ago and my ex-wife remarried one year ago. Her new husband makes in excess of $100,000/yr. My ex calls her half of my retirement pay, her "play money." I certainly did not "play" to earn it.
When our mutually agreed upon separation occurred, my ex knew all about the USFSPA. I learned about this law during my first meeting with my divorce attorney. I was told that is the way it is and there is no use bringing it up in court. The judge divided everything 50% which included two houses we had owned and had accumulated almost $200,000 in equity and mutual funds valued over $200,000. As the attorney stated, my retirement was never even discussed. The judge awarded her 50%.
I am now a school teacher in the public school system. I wanted to teach at the high school level and I enjoy it very much. However, my standard of living is about 1/3 of my ex's standard. I ask, where is the fairness and justice of this? What did my ex do in the Navy? Where was she when I was aboard ships for months at a time? What hardships did she endure? I'm also rated 40% disabled and this will go higher the older I become because of suffering a severe back injury. What disability did my ex end up with?
When I joined the Navy in 1977 this law was not part of my oath or any commitments I made. This law is unconstitutional and an outrage to those of us who faithfully served our country.
U.S. Congress, 4th District, LA
From an active duty CWO2 in the U.S. Coast Guard
I am a Chief Warrant Officer in the U.S. Coast Guard. I have been serving on active duty for the last 19 years and continue to enjoy the opportunity to serve my country. I am originally from TAOS, NM, where my parents still reside and I plan to retire. I enlisted in the Coast Guard right after graduating from high school in 1983. In my 19 years of service I have continued to excel as a leader and mentor to enlisted personnel male and female alike. I have worked my way up the chain from Enlisted to Officer and feel that I am highly respected by my coworkers. I have helped Junior Officers better understand what the objectives of certain jobs involve, and maintained a level head when people’s lives depended on it. I have an exemplary record of achievements, both personal and team awards. I have never been the type to complain about policy or procedures, and never tried to "bump the system". I am however, one to speak up when I see something wrong or unjust.
In 1998 my husband of 13 years divorced me. At the time I was serving aboard a High Endurance Coast Guard Cutter home ported in Seattle, WA. We had been married 13 years, 12 of which I was in the USCG. I was very much surprised when my spouse informed me that he was in love with another woman. He stated because I was out at sea, he was lonely and wanted a divorce. During our marriage I had worked 2 part-time jobs to help put my ex-spouse through college. He received his degree and was hired by the State of Washington (since 1996). He has a secure and high paying job with full benefits. We did not have any children so it was not an issue of support. He is living very comfortably and most likely makes much more than I do. He has since re-married and has a child. As a result of the divorce my ex-husband was awarded 35% of my military retirement at my highest rank held. Since the time of the divorce I have advanced in my career significantly by being promoted from E-7 (Chief Petty Officer) to CWO2 (Commissioned Officer). The opportunity that I may excel even further before my intended retirement only makes me angry, knowing that my ex-husband benefits financially as I progress professionally.
I understand the original Act was created to provide assistance to the wives at home with small children and no trade skill or education at the time of a divorce. These days this is usually NOT the case!
U.S. Congress, 3rd District, NM
From an Air Force Major
I am on active duty but will retire 1 Apr 2003. I have received a court order in my divorce that grants my ex-wife 26% of my retired pay at 21 years. I have one daughter by my ex-wife who lives with me, my new wife, and our two other children. My ex-wife has never paid child support to me for the past seven years but expects to receive part of my retirement starting in April. She left me seven years ago because of her infidelity. My family and I shouldn't have to pay for this now, this is not fair.
U.S. Congress, 5th District, AZ
From a retired Navy Chief Petty Officer
I am a victim of USFSPA. During my divorce I discovered my Filipino ex-wife committed bigamy when she married me. In spite of the evidence of her having a prior marriage her requested divorce was granted along with half of my military retired pay. I have since the divorce, obtained an annulment of the marriage in the Philippines where the marriage was performed. The marriage document is now amended to read null and void from the beginning of marriage. I sent this to DFAS hoping to have my retired pay fully restored. After two appeals my request remains denied. DFAS says they have a facially acceptable divorce decree and they have no authority under provisions of USFSPA to accept Philippine court orders. Today my ex-wife is happy living together with the man she was legally married to before she married me. I have certified copies of both marriage contracts and proof that the first marriage was never lawfully terminated even until now. Any assistance you could provide me concerning this would be greatly appreciated. I pray your efforts will be victorious for all of us concerned.
U.S. Congress, 11th District, TX
From an active duty Marine Corps First Sergeant
I am a victim of USFSPA. While a Drill Instructor at Parris Island, South Carolina, I caught my wife at the apartment of my executive officer. My wife left with our 3 children and eventually married my executive officer. The only way adultery was proven was the child that was born, was born before my divorce was final. I have custody of the 3 children and she hasn't paid any child support in over a year and a half. Even though she left me on her own accord, committed adultery with my executive officer, and has married him (they have 2 children now) she was awarded 25% of my retirement.
From a retired US Navy CW04
In 1987, I retired from the Navy as a CWO4. Upon retirement, I took a job with a defense contractor in Groton, CT. My office was in the Newport, RI area where I worked on numerous contracts for approximately two years. When the contracts expired, I was transferred to the Groton office. This change in locations, I had bought a home in the Newport area, added three hours to my nine hour work day. Things were going along fine for a few years until I noticed a change in my wife. One night, the topic turned to divorce. I had a feeling that she was having an affair but could not prove it. After she moved out, I was bringing some mail to her apartment and met up with her landlord, a retired Navy pilot. Since there was a storm approaching, I didn’t want to leave her mail outside. He suggested that I put it in her car. I told him that her car was locked and he then suggested that I put it in her friends’ car. I had seen this vehicle in her driveway before but because it had an officer’s sticker on the windshield, I figured it was his. He stated that this friend spends the nights with her. I had my lawyer, a Navy reserve JAG Capt, check on the owner of this vehicle. It belonged to a LT Alan Boyer. I asked my lawyer what I could do about this adulterous affair since the divorce petition had not gone up before the court. He told me that the courts don’t care about adultery and that all that mattered was how much of my retirement pay my wife was going to receive. To add salt to the wound, six months prior to the court date. my wife and LT Boyer moved to San Diego and set up household. After our divorce became final, she and LT Boyer were married.
I have been in contact with my elected officials and the Military Officers Association of America concerning the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA) and its unfair provisions. I have also written to the Chief of Naval Personnel and the Chief of Naval Operations but have received no response. It now appears that nothing is going to be done to change this act. I also contacted the Naval Legal Services office at the Brunswick Naval Air Station to see about filing charges against LT Boyer. (I believe that he is now a CDR.) I was told that the statute of limitations had expired and that even if I was able to bring him up on charges, it was up to his command whether or not to actually pursue the charge.
My ex-spouse was awarded 27% of my retirement pay for having an affair. Not a bad deal! Do you think that if I had an affair, I would have been awarded a settlement like that? I don't think so!
From a retired Army Captain in Korea
While I was deployed to JSA Korea my ex-wife was having a lesbian affair. She filed for divorce (Thank God). My lawyer told me she was entitled to 50% of my retired pay. She gets my retired pay every month. If you can show me any justice in this awful law please let me know. I hate to think our kids are dying for such a stupid government that would sponsor such a law.
From a retired Navy SW1
I am a retired Seabee, SW1 (E6) USN. I transferred to the fleet reserve in January 1993 and started getting my retainer/retired pay and in September 2002 transferred to the retired list.
My former spouse and I divorced in Jan 1987. In the final decree I was ordered to pay my former spouse 161/247 which is 32.5 %. In September 2005 I received a Stipulated Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) from her attorney. It contained incorrect information and appeared to change the original divorce decree; I refused to sign it on several points. I sent several letters to her attorney stating that all my former spouse had to do was get a certified copy of the divorce decree from the court, fill out DD2293 and send them both off to DFAS within 90 days and she would get her check in the mail. Instead my former spouse took me back to court. I have not seen her since 1995 while attending my mother’s funeral. I live in Maine now, since 1994, and I had to travel to Santa Ana California to attend court on 18 December, 2006.
Yep you guessed it the court did not honor the original decree, 161/247=32.5% and I was ordered by the judge to now pay 50% of my retired pay. My former spouse has been remarried and divorced twice since our divorce.
How can a law allow a former spouse to come back into someone’s life, especially after 19 years, and turn it upside down?
There should be a statute of limitations on this. Isn’t a divorce decree a contract between 2 people? Is there a statute of limitation on a contract?
From a retired Air Force Master Sergeant
My horror story is like many others I’ve read. My ex-wife’s father was a retired Colonel, so she knew the USFSPA law very well. As soon as I went over 10 years in the Air Force, she informed me that she was bi-sexual, had a current lesbian lover, and wanted to move out. I tried to salvage my marriage with counseling, Christian forgiveness, and understanding, but she eventually moved out to live with her flavor of the month lover at that time. She signed over the house, the kids, and of course the bills, so that she could walk away scot-free with no worries. I accepted those terms just to get her out of my life that she was continually trying to destroy (we had over $18,000 in credit card debt when she left). I had primary custody of my three kids until they were old enough to make decisions on their own as to where they lived. The only thing that I had no control over was of course giving her part of my retirement for the rest of her life in reward for her cheating, lying, and selfishness that had made my life, and my kid’s lives, a living hell.
After we were divorced, she gloated over the fact that she had screwed me out of some of my retirement. And, on top of that, she never paid me one cent in child support before or after we were divorced. Now here’s the kicker. For my entire enlisted career (Retired MSgt, USAF), I never left the states due to the nature of my career field (classified R&D and T&E). In fact, I never left our home state. The entire time we were married, my ex-wife was less than 4 hours away from her mother. She always encouraged me to go TDY so she could screw around on me while I was gone, and then spend my saved TDY money when I got back. But when I finally divorced her, I was told by my attorney that she would get part of my retirement for the rest of her life, and that there was nothing I could do about it. As far as I’m concerned, she gave up any right to any portion of my retirement when she walked out on me and our children. My right of “Due Process” was definitely denied to me.